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What the Heck is Vaginismus?

It may have a strange name, but vaginismus is no laughing matter for millions of women. This sexual problem can destroy relationships and self esteem, and so many women suffer in silence because they do not understand they have a legitimate medical problem or they are too embarrassed to speak up and ask for help. The good news is that vaginismus can be easily treated – learning more about this often ignored condition could literally change lives for millions of women.

First, what is vaginismus? Vaginismus is a condition in which the pelvic floor muscles around the vagina tighten to the extent that sex is troublesome or altogether impossible. The tightening of the muscles happens involuntarily – in most cases, the woman does not even know it is happening. Sometimes, muscles spasms, in addition to the tightening of the muscles, also occur. There are two types of vaginismus – primary and secondary. Women with primary vaginismus have never been able to have sexual intercourse, and also usually not able to use a tampon or have a pelvic exam. Women with secondary vaginismus have had sexual intercourse without problems in the past, but suddenly find themselves unable to complete intercourse.

Vaginismus can present itself in a number of different ways. Sometimes, sexual intercourse is painful – either sex burns or stings for the woman, or the man feel that the vagina is too tight for his penis. In other instances, sex may be impossible – the pelvic floor muscles tighten to the extent that the man cannot insert his penis at all. Other symptoms of vaginismus are an inability to use a tampon or have a pelvic exam and back muscles spasms during otherwise comfortable sexual encounters.

The symptoms may also be psychological. If you tend to avoid sex because it has been painful in the past, then vaginismus might be to blame. Likewise, women who have experienced rape or that were sexually molested as children often experience periods of vaginimus.

After experiencing these kinds of problems with one sexual partner, the problem of vaginismus tends to multiply itself. Women often then avoid relationships for fear of dealing with this problem, or they commit themselves to relationships they cannot consummate because they don’t want to face sexual intercourse. It doesn’t have to be this way, however.

The first step in treating vaginismus is to know that you are not alone. Millions of women experience this, in all stages of life. There are marriages that have never been consummated for this reason; don’t assume that just because a woman is in a relationship that they do not have this problem. If you are in a relationship, it is crucial to have a supportive partner as you embark upon treatment. If you are not in a relationship, you can still start treatment on your own, so you will feel more confident about your future relationships.

Treatment comes in a series of steps. The first steps involve dealing with any psychological issues that might be causing your physical reactions to sexual intercourse, so you can learn to come to terms with your sexuality and yourself as a sexual being. Once you have become comfortable with the idea of wanting to be sexually active, then you can begin a series of so called “insertion” treatments, to help you learn to control your pelvic floor muscles.

These steps walk you through becoming comfortable with inserting small items, like cotton buds, into your vagina, and building up until you can use vaginal dilators with ease. Through these exercises, you will learn to recognize the sign of your muscles tightening and how to ease this tightening on your own. After completing these steps, you can practice this same control of your muscles during sexual intercourse with a trusted and supportive partner, solving your vaginismus problem once and for all.