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What the Heck is
Vaginismus?
It may have a strange name, but vaginismus is no laughing
matter for millions of women. This sexual problem can destroy
relationships and self esteem, and so many women suffer in
silence because they do not understand they have a legitimate
medical problem or they are too embarrassed to speak up and ask
for help. The good news is that vaginismus can be easily
treated – learning more about this often ignored condition
could literally change lives for millions of women.
First, what is vaginismus? Vaginismus is a condition in which
the pelvic floor muscles around the vagina tighten to the
extent that sex is troublesome or altogether impossible. The
tightening of the muscles happens involuntarily – in most
cases, the woman does not even know it is happening. Sometimes,
muscles spasms, in addition to the tightening of the muscles,
also occur. There are two types of vaginismus – primary and
secondary. Women with primary vaginismus have never been able
to have sexual intercourse, and also usually not able to use a
tampon or have a pelvic exam. Women with secondary vaginismus
have had sexual intercourse without problems in the past, but
suddenly find themselves unable to complete intercourse.
Vaginismus can present itself in a number of different ways.
Sometimes, sexual intercourse is painful – either sex burns or
stings for the woman, or the man feel that the vagina is too
tight for his penis. In other instances, sex may be impossible
– the pelvic floor muscles tighten to the extent that the man
cannot insert his penis at all. Other symptoms of vaginismus
are an inability to use a tampon or have a pelvic exam and back
muscles spasms during otherwise comfortable sexual
encounters.
The symptoms may also be psychological. If you tend to avoid
sex because it has been painful in the past, then vaginismus
might be to blame. Likewise, women who have experienced rape or
that were sexually molested as children often experience
periods of vaginimus.
After experiencing these kinds of problems with one sexual
partner, the problem of vaginismus tends to multiply itself.
Women often then avoid relationships for fear of dealing with
this problem, or they commit themselves to relationships they
cannot consummate because they don’t want to face sexual
intercourse. It doesn’t have to be this way, however.
The first step in treating vaginismus is to know that you are
not alone. Millions of women experience this, in all stages of
life. There are marriages that have never been consummated for
this reason; don’t assume that just because a woman is in a
relationship that they do not have this problem. If you are in
a relationship, it is crucial to have a supportive partner as
you embark upon treatment. If you are not in a relationship,
you can still start treatment on your own, so you will feel
more confident about your future relationships.
Treatment comes in a series of steps. The first steps involve
dealing with any psychological issues that might be causing
your physical reactions to sexual intercourse, so you can learn
to come to terms with your sexuality and yourself as a sexual
being. Once you have become comfortable with the idea of
wanting to be sexually active, then you can begin a series of
so called “insertion” treatments, to help you learn to control
your pelvic floor muscles.
These steps walk you through becoming comfortable with
inserting small items, like cotton buds, into your vagina, and
building up until you can use vaginal dilators with ease.
Through these exercises, you will learn to recognize the sign
of your muscles tightening and how to ease this tightening on
your own. After completing these steps, you can practice this
same control of your muscles during sexual intercourse with a
trusted and supportive partner, solving your vaginismus problem
once and for all.
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