Your Sexual Health

Take charge of your sexual health.  It may take two to tango, but women must take complete responsibility for their own sexual health.  If you were brought up thinking that sex is dirty and immoral then you might have adopted the idea that you should not be proactive in sexual issues because it just doesn't seem like something you should be thinking about.  Worse yet, you may be of the frame of mind that it's the man's job to provide birth control, or even to decide whether to abstain from sex or go full speed ahead.  Why in the world would you hand over such important decisions to someone else when the results can be so physically and mentally devastating to you?

Even if your partner is the most loving and concerned person in the entire universe, you still need to take control of this aspect of your health.  If you have a partner with whom you are monogamous then you can make the decisions regarding your sexual health as a joint effort (with you as the decisive vote, of course), but if you are not necessarily committed to only one person then you especially need to make sure that you are taking care of your sexual health. Figure out what kind of birth control works for you.  Figure out how you will prevent sexually transmitted disease.  Figure out how you will keep yourself healthy while still indulging in sex…or how to abstain altogether. 

Two monogamous and committed people within a relationship indulging in sexual relations is common, but unfortunately so are sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancies, and women who have sexual intercourse even though they really don't want to.  Think of it this way: if you tell a man that you don't want to have sex and as a result he leaves you then you're actually doing yourself a big favor.  You're protecting yourself physically and mentally while also ridding yourself of an insensitive guy who probably wouldn't be good for you anyhow.

A lack of desire can be a medical issue.  There are about a million jokes that men tell about how a woman's sexual desire wanes after marriage, and although not every woman is this way there is certainly a degree of truth to these jokes.  Most experts agree that it is normal to have a sexual appetite that decreases a little, and many things can make this happen, such as certain medications, stress, and lack of sleep (which happens quite a bit if you have a baby). 

If you encounter a sudden drop in your sexual desire, however, then you should pay attention and get to the bottom of the root cause because sometimes this can be an indication of a problem.  It may be a case of something physical, or it can also be an indication of something emotional.  Physically, a lack of desire can indicate that there is a hormonal imbalance or some other issue within your body that can be corrected by medical means.  Perhaps you have a physical issue that has manifested into a lack of sexual desire…for example, if you have a difficult time with vaginal lubrication then you may have unknowingly started to avoid sex because you are so frustrated with your physical issue.  Sheer emotions can also have a huge effect on your sexual desire whether you realize it or not.  Sometimes women who have problems with their husband or partner can find that they have a tough time getting aroused, even if they try to separate the relationship issues from the element of intimacy. 

Remember that your brain is a part of your body too, so if your mind is consumed with ideas of how your are miserable in your relationship, or you don't feel respected, or whatever the issue is, then you may not be able to get aroused even if you want to.  Don't accept a huge drop in sexual desire as simply something that is inevitable.  It really doesn't have to be that way.  You should mention the issue to your doctor and get to the root cause of what is thwarting your libido.  It may be something relatively simple that can be corrected quickly, or it may be a symptom of something bigger, which may take a little more time to resolve.  Whatever the cause, it's not something you should ignore. 

All it takes is one instance of unprotected sex.  Most women understand that one instance of unprotected sex can result in a sexually transmitted disease or pregnancy, but for one reason or another many women still occasionally indulge in sex without any form of protection.  There seems to be a mentality of, "that won't happen to me," or "we just got caught up in the passion of the moment."  Try to understand that no matter how much passion you have going for you, it is not worth the huge risk you are taking. 

Sex can be pleasurable, but what amount of pleasure is worth contracting something like herpes (which will never go away) or something like AIDS (which might wind up killing you?) You simply cannot justify unprotected sex in present day unless you are with another person with whom you are committed and seeing exclusively…and you know for a fact that the person is in the same position.  In other words, if you have any doubt whatsoever about the commitment of your sexual partner then it's time to whip out a condom if you aren't already using one…or better yet perhaps it's time to say goodbye to that particular partner.  Get this into your head: no matter how great the sex is, it's not worth dying for. 

Even if you don't contract a sexually transmitted disease you could easily wind up pregnant.  Pregnancy in and of itself is not necessarily a death sentence (although some parents may jokingly disagree with that statement) but if you are not ready or willing to have a baby then it's a tough situation to be in.  When you think about everything that can come from one brief moment of unchecked passion then you know that it's just not worth it.  For your health's sake you need to be the type of woman who has the self-control necessary to always insist upon proper protection when engaging in sexual activities.  You needn't be embarrassed by insisting upon protection, and it's one of the best things you can do to ensure your overall good health for years to come.

It can be a lot of fun being a woman, although it comes with its special set of issues and potential problems.  As long as you remember that as a woman you are fundamentally different from men, and that there are special considerations you must keep in mind when it comes to your medical care and how you take care of yourself.  Remember that you are the person most responsible for your own health, and you should act accordingly.  Be diligent in seeking out the best medical care and always pay attention to the things that your body is trying to tell you.

On the next page we will talk about whether Fashion is Your Friend Or Foe.